I do not want to hurry God.
As my husband led worship last Sunday morning, I found myself praying to God that I would be able to hear His voice clearly. I told God that I wanted to hear what He had to tell me. I was open and welcoming of His message. I was willing to listen to whatever He had for me, whenever He was ready to speak, I was ready to listen. Just like in Isaiah when the Lord says, “At just the right time, I will respond to you.” (Vs. 8), I was waiting for that promise.
Last night, a couple things had been going wrong at work but instead of being up in arms and getting frustrated at the situations around me, a huge peace engulfed me. As I was listening to Not in a Hurry by Will Reagan and United Pursuit, I heard God tell me that I am on the right path. There was a reassurance that I needed. I felt in my spirit that I needed to honor where I was at and stop looking towards the future because He already has my purpose laid out for me. I know that I had been worrying too much about what the next school year was going to bring me, such as the struggles of being an honors student in my crazy last two semesters before graduating with my undergraduate degree. I found myself worrying too much about what comes next after the ball season and what mine and Cody’s next big move was to provide for our family, as well as keeping our passions alive and making a pathway for those in need.
I felt God tell me that we would be okay, in fact, this next season in our life was going to be the best yet. Though I am unaware of what our future looks, I feel more at peace about not knowing what comes next than I do when I’m trying to figure out what comes next.
Just like the song that sparked my conversation with God, I don’t want to rush in my own understanding. I want to be still and focus and listen when my name is being called. I want to show up when I need to. Sometimes, though, I show up when I am neither prepared nor called upon and in my hurriment, I am my most destructive self.
I think a lot of times we do not allow ourselves to grow in times of calmness. Sometimes God calls us to stand still. Sometimes God calls us to fight up front, but there is always a time for His people to be at rest. I think often times we feel as if we are not moving, we are not being productive. This is not always the case, though. Sometimes when we are our busiest, we are our least productive selves. We are in a constant hurry of checking off all of our tasks on our to-do lists and meeting every email when we see the pop-up notification. It is always awesome to be on top of your game plan, but when you lose sight of where God wants you at the moment, it is hard to find peace in stressful situations.
Let God move you to the battlefront when you are needed, but be okay taking rest in His solitude.