If you utilize the unknown to your advantage, imagine all of the things that you can accomplish.
Live Video Challenge
Recently, a good friend challenged everyone in her Facebook group to do a live video challenge. Just a few days prior, I was telling Cody that I wanted to better my speaking skills. You would think that after hosting a podcast for a year, I would be confident in speaking by now.
I realized that if I wanted my dream of becoming a public speaker to be real life, I needed to work on my “ums”, “but yeahs”, “ya knows”, likes,” and awkward pauses. It’s not surprising that recording my voice behind a mic every week seems to be less challenging when I’m not physically seen. So after the open invitation, I jumped on board. Doing edited videos for our podcast isn’t that hard, so why should going live be any harder?
I am LOLing at myself as I write this.
One of the biggest struggles that I learned through this challenge was that I am more comfortable talking about my experiences to a well-known audience. For instance, I’m not wary about sharing my heart with my friends, family, old mentors, and peers from school. Why? Because I have a personal relationship with about 95% of the people I am friends with on Facebook. These people already know my heart and what my passions are.
Sure, I can feel squirrel brained online to my friends and family. By no means am I a perfect speaker. There are still times where I feel nervous about getting in from of the camera. But for the most part, my nerves are pretty chill.
Now, strangers on Instagram? That’s a whole new beast for me.
It’s funny because I’ve always secretly wanted to go live on Instagram. As soon as IGTV came out, I immediately wanted to play a part. But I never felt confident enough so I never felt compelled to do so. I mean, who really cares what I did on my day off or what I’m wearing to the gym, right?
The Real Challenge
As I attempted to go live one night on my personal Instagram, I immediately felt how awkward and uncomfortable. Suddenly the times where I was taking a breath and trying to gather my thoughts became awkward pauses and repetitious “ums”. I quickly summed up everything I was saying and signed off.
However, I forced myself to re-watch my video and I cringed the entire time. Mostly because the entire time I was on live video, I kept thinking about how awkward and uncomfortable I felt that I never really was able to fully dive deep into what I was talking about. My own insecurity caused me to not fully show up for my people.
In hindsight, the video isn’t that bad. I feel like often times we are our own worst critique. We are always nitpicking little things that most people don’t even notice about ourselves. And that’s when I noticed that I was afraid of how I would be viewed online.
As I said, it’s normal for me to talk to friends and family about my passions and pursuits. But, when you have to explain to a total stranger in just a couple short minutes where your heart is, it can seem really intimidating. I often wonder how people view me as a person online. Do people like my outfit? Will people appreciate my vulnerability? Does any actually care about me? It’s funny because I am not normally one to care about what others think about me. Out in public, I show up as who I am.
SO WHY IS DOING A LIVE VIDEO ON INSTAGRAM SO HARD FOR ME?
What I Learned
Well, for starters, it’s new. It is uncomfortable pouring your heart out for other people, fully aware that strangers might not get you. And that feels really awkward. It’s not a comforting feeling. So many people run from something if it isn’t comfortable.
I mean, if stepping out of your comfort zone was always easy and felt good, wouldn’t everyone be doing it?
I guess the biggest thing that I learned through the live video challenge is that anything that is new is scary. But scary can be a good thing. And if you utilize the unknown to your advantage, imagine all of the things that you can accomplish.
If there is something pulling on your heart but you’re afraid of showing up, show up anyway.
You never know how sharing your story can help someone create theirs.